“You Will Become an Army for Your Child”

via The Mighty: https://www.facebook.com/Themightysite/videos/604998539647897/

 

Know… Thyself

Robert goes to the bathroom one morning for a “number 2”.

He’s done, he looks in the toilet and says, “Hi, my name is Robert” and flushes.

It’s good to… “Know Thyself”.

Duh!!!

One day Robert was sitting next to me while I was playing on Facebook.

I pointed to my Facebook profile photo and I asked Robert, “Robbie, what is that?”

He repeated, “What is that?”

I was disappointed because I thought, ‘he doesn’t understand’.

I said to him, “That is a tiger.”

“No, it’s not,” Robert responds.

“Yes, it’s a white tiger,” I said sadly. My heart breaking because he clearly didn’t understand what I was saying.

“No, it’s not,” he insists, “it’s a LEOPARD.”

WHAT????

I look at the photo again and decide to get back up and consult an expert… Google. I look up “white leopard” and sure enough… it IS a white leopard not a white tiger.

I’m a genius. Maybe I need comprehension lessons.

The Art of Manipulation

I walked into Robert’s classroom one day to pick him up. As we’re heading out the door, his teacher comes up and to me and quietly says, “We’re a little concerned about Robert.”

I got worried, “What happened?”

“Well, he is very lethargic…”

That’s odd, because I soon as he just saw me, he ran to me smiling and was jumping around. 

“…he couldn’t open the zipper to his backpack or put his folders in it. We had to do a lot of hand over hand today. Maybe his medication is making him this way.”

The teacher was referring to the ADHD medication Daytrana. It made Robert aggressive so we took him off it.

“Robert has not been on his medication for about two months, so it can’t be that. Are you sure he’s not playing you?”

“What? He’s playing us?” she asked surprised.

“Umm… yes. He hasn’t had this problem before has he?” I respond.

“No.”

“If he does this again, just make him do the work. It’s his way of getting out of doing something.”

Teacher yells to her assistant, “He’s playing us!”

I then ask Robert, “Are you sneaky?”

He looks at me smiling, “Yes!”

There you have it. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from him.

The First Time

On Monday, December 31, 2012 Robert ran to me, threw himself against me, closed his eyes, and said “I love you… I love you Mom… I love you.”

Why is this important?

For the first time EVER Robert said ‘I love you’ spontaneously, without prompting.

He was almost five years old. I know the date because I wrote it down. This may not mean much to many reading this but it is monumental for me.

These small things mean the world to parents of children with autism. We take nothing for granted.

Little Ears Hear E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

I used to curse… worse than a sailor, and that’s putting it mildly. I have curbed my cursing, especially around the boys. The worse thing I’ve been saying is “Jesus Christ.” I know this can offend some people, but to me it’s about as strong as an F#@k Me (which is my favorite expression when it comes to cursing).

Yes… I am a horrible person.

Anyway… one morning Robert is sitting in front of his toy volcano, which he got for Christmas, when all of a sudden a heard his tiny voice saying “Jesus Fucking Christ!”

THAT got my attention really fast. I thought I did not hear right. I stopped what I was doing and quietly listened. Sure enough… “Jesus Fucking Christ,” comes out of his mouth again.

Michael goes to Robert and says “Robert, don’t say that. That’s bad.” He then comes to me and says really loud “Mom, Robert said Jesus Fucking Christ.”

Great!!! Now Michael is saying it too.

As autism school taught me I ignored it. As hard as it was, I ignored it.

Luckily Robert stopped saying it after three times.

I learned with the boys, if I don’t ignore what they say, they will say it over and over and over.

Yes, I curse, but I can’t remember the last time I said this. I personally think it was quite a while ago.

Uh-huh! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Thank you very much.

HOWEVER… for this… I am blaming my sister; even if she doesn’t deserve it.

I’m Singing… in my Bed…

An added layer of protection, just in case it decides to rain.

Yes… I’m a horrible mother… there’s a sippy cup in his bed.

Backseat Driver

At his tender age of four, almost five, Robert had become a back seat driver.

Yes, you read correctly; a back seat driver.

I am in traffic, stopped at a red light. I hear a small voice behind me, “Mom?”
I turn to Robert, “Yes, honey.”
“GO!” he says emphatically.
I laugh, “I can’t go, it’s a red light.”
Clearly that was not a good excuse, “GO! GO!”

I thought this phenomenon would appear when Robert turned about 12 or so.

Nope! Not me. Should I be so freakin’ lucky.

Robert’s Dx (diagnosis) and Milestone

Robert was born with autism, hypotonia (low muscle tone) and developmental delays. He did not walk until he was almost three-years-old. He has been in some sort of therapy from the time he was six months old.

He has improved tremendously. Little things such as simply saying “I love you” or giving a spontaneous hug, while may seem inconsequential to others, are huge milestones for us and we treasure each and every one.

In addition to autism, about two years ago Robert was diagnosed with ADHD as well. Scott (my husband) and I never believed that children should be put on ADHD/ADD medication. We decided to finally put him on ADHD medication to see if it might help. We wanted to ensure we had the option to say ‘we tried it’ and never question whether we did everything possible for our children.

We began seeing improvement after a few days, especially in Robert’s speech.

After about three days on the medication Robert would not fall asleep. It was a side effect of the medicine.

One night when Robert could not sleep, I walked into his room, hoping to calm him. I began to softly talk to him.

In his usual fashion, he ignored me. Odd because I usually got a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer from him.
Finally, after about 30 seconds, he put his hand over my mouth and said, “Quiet mouth.”

I was stunned because he rarely expressed displeasure with words. Robert usually turned away from us and screamed.
I was so happy that I reached for him to rub his back.

He pushed my hand away.
I reached for his hand to kiss it.
He pushed me away.
I reached to kiss his cheek.
He pushed my hand away and said steadily, “Keep. Your. Hands. To. Yourself.”

Excuse the hell outta’me!

and

YAY!